A man walks into a bank wearing a mask. Everyone freaks out.
“Relax” he says, “I’m just here to rob the place”
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My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I’d choose.
I shouldn’t have named two.
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Man says to his boss, “Can we talk? I have a problem.”
Boss: “Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!”
Man: “Ok, I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
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As a responsible employer, All my staff are in a 2 week quarantine.
Productivity is through the roof since nobody can leave the office.
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